Sometimes I just want to scream so loud it would break windows.  It’s hard to fix something when you don’t know what the problem is.  When there’s a constant knot in my throat and twist in my stomach.  So much waiting all the time.  Waiting makes the knot in my throat slowly expand like a balloon ready to burst.  There’s always an elephant in the room.  Everyone wants to say something or talk about it, but no one ever does. Maybe because if we do start speaking truth, everything will explode and crumble.    

Here, stray cats are as prominent as the groups of men walking around.  I mentioned the power goes out at least twice a day, right?  Usually only lasts a few seconds to a few minutes each time.  People walk monkeys like we walk dogs back in the States - on a leash and everything.  

On EID (Pakistani Christmas) we went to see Inception.  It’s in an army containment zone so there’s a checkpoint before entering.  There was a TON of traffic - it took us two hours to get there when usually it’s only about 20 minutes.  Drivers do not adhere to lines on the road.  We were all sardines - much worse than LA traffic because there are four lanes, but drivers make it six lanes.  And then motorcycles weave in and out between all of these cars.  Oh yeah, and the motorcycles have entire families on them, babies and all, no helmets.  I just imagine the motorcycle being smashed by a truck and baby guts all over the road.  I know that’s sick, but how can that image not pop in my head when these little innocent lives aren’t being protected?! Someone told me, “Life is cheap here.”  

As we’re entering the containment zone, we stop at the main gated checkpoint, the officers, using a flashlight, look at all of us passengers inside, then check the trunk and let us pass.  Once we’re in, it’s like a big mall or shopping center parking lot. There’s a McDonald’s, a nice restaurant, a motion ride and a theater.  We missed the first movie, so we decide to catch the second one at 11:30p.m.  We grab a bite to eat at Pappasalis - it’s like a mix between Cheesecake Factory and Applebees.  I don’t even bother ordering the salad anymore because they don’t have lettuce.  The one time I did order a Chicken Caesar they gave me four pieces of lettuce and a pile of chicken, no joke.  Chicken was delish though.  

There is another checkpoint before entering the theater - a line for men and a line for ladies.  I go inside a little 2ftx2ft curtain tent and a women quickly feels my chest and waist and I walk through.  Then, there are separate ticket lines for men and ladies. Once we’re finally inside the theater, it’s similar to the states - a big snack bar and a video game room.  The game room has Wii and computer games.  We played foosball for a bit because the movie was going to start late - nothing starts on time. In the lobby, there is a trophy-like case with certificates inside stating employees have been vaccinated against Hepatitis B and Typhoid Fever.  Phew.  

At this point, we’re up to four hours of waiting to see this movie.  We sit in our assigned seats.  The Pakistani national anthem starts playing on the screen and everyone must stand up.  It’s a slideshow of photos and instrumental music, no words.  Five minutes later, it plays again, so we stand up again.  Five minutes later, the movie begins.  And you’ll never guess this - people start whispering and texting and accepting phone calls during the movie.  There’s no slide at the beginning asking people to turn their phones off.  Luke was getting really mad and threatened to throw someone’s cell phone against the screen if they continue.  We ended up moving seats at intermission (there’s a 10 minute intermission, which is kind of cool).  Fast forward —->  we made it through! Loved the movie again - I saw it first in the States before coming out here.  Actually a few days later, we went to see the movie again, but didn’t have to drive in the horrendous traffic like last time.  

Closing tidbits: Lightening is a regular occurrence here - it’s actually quite beautiful. McDonald’s fries taste the same everywhere in the world.  White people are the minority.  Whenever I see a white person, I do a double-take because I’m thinking, “Wait, are they really white or is it an illusion?”  And they do a double take, too, like we’re thinking the same thing - an instant connection.   

It’s my 60th day here and still no filmmaking.  Stay tuned…  

b.e.d.